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Title: STFU! a.k.a. 5 times Ohkura wanted Hina to shut up, and 1 time he did
Author: beililee
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Ohkura X Hina (yes in that order ^^)
Disclaimer: Don’t own
Prompt: Ohkura/Hina. Anything. Really. Surprise me. Snark & humor <3
Word Count: 1582
Warning: none ^^
Author’s Note: For RITSI aka Crys ^^ <3 and I hope the characters are in character ^^ <3 (if not… feel free to figuratively murder me ^.~)

Okhura wouldn’t consider himself a short-tempered man; in fact, he, truth be told, is rather mild-tempered, verging on stiffly polite at those times when his sarcastic under-the-breath speak is under control. But babies must be allowed to act like babies at times, and seriously, how much ridiculously insane commentary could one sane man listen to without either punching the source or crawling, clawing up the walls?

It was time Hina learned that the old adage “silence is golden” is not only true, but also a giver of many pleasures.

---One---

What was the appeal of calling everyone in your phonebook when it was 4:30 am and you were rip-roaring drunk? Ohkura would never know. All he knew was that he had to get up no more than a hour from now and why the fuck was Hina calling him, giggling over some joke about aliens and the green hue of Midori in his drink that would have made no sense if he was sober and Ohkura was awake, but made even less sense under the circumstances.

“Hina.” His voiced articulated his sleep-laden mentality better than the words that followed, but unfortunately the drunk do not process the tone of people’s voice. They do well enough to accurately process the words that flow into their ears from other people, seemingly through jello.

“I’m trying to sleep. I have to be up in less than an hour, an hour at the latest.” Hina, being marvelous when drunk, even more marvelous and aware than normal, accurately deciphered that to mean “please keep me up and talk to me about Midori-colored aliens until I feel drunker than you because lord knows I don’t need anymore sleep tonight.” Yes, everyone else matches his verbosity when he relays their statements through his brain.

If they weren’t such good friends, if Hina wasn’t on the other end of a phone and not there in the room with him, if he wasn’t so goddamn tired, perhaps he would have punched him till he was blue in the face.

Instead, he simply contemplated the possibility of future revenge plans.

---Two---
Ohkura and Ryo were sitting together during break, close in a friendly sort of way as they listened to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and sang along, voices mingling in low breathy harmony as the words “California, rest in peace. Simultaneous release” fell from their mouths. It was then that the thing, normally called Hina, bounded into the room like an energizer bunny crossed with a kangaroo, disrupting their beloved music with random musings and mutterings that were hard to follow, even in retrospect.

He really had chosen the wrong pair to interrupt, their collective snark-level rising exponentially in each other’s presence.

“Are we supposed to pay attention to you?” Ryo sneered, only wanting to return to “she’s my priestess, I’m your priest.”

The snark didn’t faze Hina though, and Ohkura cursed him inwardly. They had just enough time to listen to one song before break was over, and Hina was acting like he always does, like a squirrel on caffeine overload. It really would be nice if he would shut up from time to time.

So he voiced that thought, with the type of snark only Ohkura could employ. “Your kangaroo ways are disturbing our California paradise, and I just might have to –”

The thought was cut off as break came to a close and practice returned, Ohkura inwardly fuming that the older really was too dense and needed to be taught a thing or two about mutual respect.

---Three---
Ohkura had a special ritual he enacted during the last five minutes before any show, and the other members, save for Hina, had long since learned to not disturb him as he listened to his iPod, eyes closed in serenity. Serene until Hina shoves his face in the other, making silly expressions and weird noises, hyped up on whatever it was he drank to get him through the long show; all the younger knew was that it contained a healthy dose of sugar.

“Please, just be quiet for a minute Hina, and let me chill.” His eyes pleaded with his elder, wishing him to actually understand, or care whatever the case may be.

His wish wasn’t granted. It never was as Hina’s mouth never closed. Ever.

---Four---

Ohkura lives for food; he’s said so himself in various interviews and on various talk shows. The man is like Massu with his food; food is the ultimate love.

The entire eight were out together, and that was difficult enough for the man trying to concentrate solely on his food – in fact, blocking out the restaurant white noise was hard enough – but, of course, Hi-jabber mouth-na was sitting directly beside him, mouth going a thousand miles a minute, like he was trying to win a race to the moon, or something. If the younger hadn’t been in a serious case of lust over the sushi they were devouring, he would have shoved it all in the elder’s mouth just to earn a few moments of golden silence.

But one does not sacrifice their food for the crazy and arguably dim-witted. Never. Even if the psycho-babble – not to be confused with intelligent psycho-analysis – involves mentions of pirates, ships, and Jin’s hips – no one knew how that all tied together to create raucous laughter; even Junno’s “iriguchi, deguchi, Taguchi desu!” was more humorous. Words, in Ohkura’s mind, are superfluous and frankly annoying when they don’t have a foreseeable purpose.

---Five---

Ohkura was always the designated driver, never having more than two drinks on one of these all-member excursions, having accustomed himself to acting as the eldest, the parent, although in all actuality he was the baby. So when he found himself behind the wheel with the yammering Hina beside him riding shotgun, the other members already dropped hither and thither at their respective abodes, he should have been used to it. It shouldn’t have cause a headache to form that made him turn up the music to drown out his supposedly humorous blatherings; thus, increasing his headache.

And Hina spoke on, continuing the crazed conversation from dinner, as his voice rose to war with the heavy rock, rising over it.

The younger huffed, growled, glared at the elder and said, “My God! Do you ever just shut up?”

Hina just giggled, shaking his head in the negative as he continued on in his speech, voice returning to a normal level only after Ohkura jabbed angrily at the radio buttons, muting the stereo in a show of defeat.

---~~~---

Ohkura was sitting at the drum set in the practice room, trying to spend some time along mastering the riffs of the newest Kanjani8 songs when Hina came bounding in, once more disturbing his peace. How much was one man supposed to take, he wondered.

“Can you not bother me right now? Please?” Perhaps sweetness would work this time – having been so successful in the past. Ohkura laughed at the thought.

“Why? What are you doing? If I’m quiet, can I stay? Huh? Huh?”

Ohkura would swear on all that is good and holy that Hina got younger each day, rather than older, consistently regressing in maturity level. He sighed. “Will you really be quiet Hina? Because I need to learn these songs.”

Frantic nodding and smiles were his response, Hina trying to remain speechless.

That lasted all of ten seconds, Hina again badgering the younger man just moments into the first song.

“Quiet Hina.” The tone was warning, but the elder didn’t pay heed.

“But I just wanna know what song that is. Is that so bad? I wasn’t –” He was cut off, the voice growing increasingly angered as the frustration of years crept in to mingle with today’s aggravation. “Shut up! Shut up before I gag you!”

Hina looked up at him with an unreadable expression, but if Ohkura were to hazard a guess, the look was a mixture of interested desire, surprise, and horror. Quite the combination, causing the younger to hope for the almost dependable defiance of the elder just so that he could prove his point.

That dependable aspect of Hina had not yet died, and he uttered the words “what did you say?” Ohkura’s assessment of Hina’s expression proven true by the wavering bedroom voice before he found a hand at his throat, pushing him down onto his knees before the taller man, eyes levels with the crotch that was in the process of being bared.

“I said,” he ground out as he pushed his pants down, exposing his lower half, “shut up before I gag you. I did, however, fail to mention what I would gag you with.” With that he thrust his cock into the elder’s mouth, returning to practicing the drum parts as Hina started sucking, putting all the mouth exercise – from talking so goddamn much – to use by slackening his jaw and bobbing up and down, agile tongue causing the younger to falter and moan, giving up practice in favor of clutching and controlling the head below him.

The elder wasn’t so bad to be around when his mouth was full, and he was incapable of speaking, he thought as he forcibly held Hina’s head in place, thrust in and out at his own pace, seeking that fireworks-rivaling release, and soon he was there, sparks of light flashing behind his eyes as he spilled down the shorter man’s throat.
(deleted comment)

Re: =]

Date: 2008-05-29 11:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sapphoatsunset.livejournal.com
thank you ^^

Re: =]

Date: 2008-05-29 11:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sapphoatsunset.livejournal.com
idk what you mean by realism + my writing though lol ^^
(deleted comment)

Re: =]

Date: 2008-05-30 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sapphoatsunset.livejournal.com
that's okay ^^ picking the right word is a difficult process ^^ and THANK YOU~! ^^

Date: 2008-05-29 11:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ryogrande.livejournal.com
I LOVE EVERY FUCKING WORD OF THIS AND IT IS ALL MINE YES.

honorable mentions:

- RYOKURA SNARKING TOGETHER. TAG TEAM WHAT.

- OBLIGATORY MENTIONS OF HINA'S BIG ASS MOUTH AND INDIRECT MENTIONS OF HIS BIG ASS TEETH.

The entire eight were out together

ALSKDASLJDSALKDSAJD UCHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.

- SERIOUS LUST OVER SUSHI, I FEEL HIS PAIN

- HINA FINALLY GETTING SHUT UP WITH A COCK IN HIS MOUTH

- OHKURA CONTINUES TO PLAY THE DRUMS WHILST GETTING THE HEAD


SAKJDHSAKHDAKSSDA I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU THANKS FOR MAKING MY WISH COME TRUUUUUUUUUUUE ♥♥♥♥♥

Date: 2008-05-30 12:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sapphoatsunset.livejournal.com
WOOHOO~~~~~ YOU LOVED IT! and thus you make my day ^^ <3

- well they do share the love of RHCP ^^

EVERYTHING focused on his big ass mouth ^^ lol

note to self: new phrase to get Crys to squeal = the entire eight were out together ^.~ lolol

I KNOW SUSHI IS A-FUCKING-MAZING!

yes cock is a great way to shut someone up ^^ and there was a purpose to shutting him up... quiet for practice ^^ lolol ^^

ilu2~~ thank you and you're welcome ^^ <3333333333

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