sapphoatsunset | The Faint Traces of an Afterglow

Title: The Faint Traces of an Afterglow
Author: beililee
Rating: PG for language
Pairing: Donghae X Kibum
Disclaimer: Don’t own
Prompt: #20 - Glow (12 of 100)
Word Count: 621
Warning: SAD, but happy ending
A/N: 100 Fic Archive

When Donghae and Kibum first met, Donghae was like this light, bright, invincible, and unable to be darkened. Kibum was slightly jealous of him for it, but quickly got over it in exchange for an undying fascination with the older boy. His mischievous humor and innocently inquisitive looks were like a drug, and Kibum needed his fix.

However, there was a time when that light died, to be replaced be a fake version of happy until Donghae was actually happy again. Kibum was at a loss as to how to help his hyung. Fortunately, internet whiz that he is, he found Donghae’s blog. It was shocking to say the least.

When tragedy strikes
Like a thief in the night,
Tears must fall
Dripping off of the ball
That is your eye
As you sigh
In defeat
And you meet and greet
The darkness of that time
As the bell chimes
To let you know time has since passed
And you better move along fast
Or tragedy will come even closer still
And life you’ll give up with your lack of will
For seasons change
And you mustn’t avoid the range
Of all your emotions, both pleasant and sad
‘Cause they would still want you to be glad
In the end ‘cause it’s dust to dust
And ashes to ashes, so you must
Try not to bend the truth of it all
And remove your gall
And try to accept
That no one’s here except

You.

Sometimes, I just want to cry. I want my heart to open up like the massive guarded catchall that it is and let the tears come tumbling down, let the storm out, and the rage become unchained, but no, in the world’s eyes, if you are a guy, you are not allowed to cry. It is weak but damn would I love to cry, to loudly, and heart-wrenchingly gush my eyes out, scream at the system, die from the inside out, release all the pain.

More than anything, I want my dad to come back. Why did he have to die? It really isn’t fair. The other members can say they understand all they want to, but everyone else still has their father. It’s not the same. Not at all. I wish I felt comfortable crying, felt like it was okay. Normally, at least in the past, I just let my emotions be what they were, but it hurts too much for people to watch me this way, and yet I don’t want to be alone.

I need one person to be my light for me, just for a little while until I get my own back.

Kibum started crying in front of the computer screen, his tears falling onto the keyboard, and he got up, raced into Donghae’s room and tackled his hyung in a hug. “I’ll be your light for you. Whenever you need me, I’ll be here for you.” Kissing his hyung, he snuggled closer, trying to lend his warmth and burgeoning love to the other, knowing how much it was needed.

Donghae kissed back, and when he pulled away, he choked on his own tears, burying his head in the crook of Kibum’s neck and truly crying for the first time since his father’s death. It would all be okay now; he knew.

Kibum rocked the older boy, stroking his hair and murmuring things like “it’ll be okay.” and “I love you hyung.” Donghae smiled wetly through his tears in response to the latter and resolved to keep Kibum as his own personal light for all of time.

---~~~---

Eventually Donghae regained his own light, but now it never shines as brightly as when Kibum is with him, shining as well.