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sapphoatsunsetTitle: Cleanse the Wounds and Bandage Away the Hurt
Author: beililee
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Shindong X Heechul, Shindong X Henry
Disclaimer: Don’t own
Prompt: #90 – Clean (59 of 100)
Word Count: 1224
Warnings: mentions of characters dying in the future
A/N: 100 Fic Archive || Sequel to Turn, Shift, Smile, Repeat (a sequel to Flinch) both bystevenghost♥
Author: beililee
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Shindong X Heechul, Shindong X Henry
Disclaimer: Don’t own
Prompt: #90 – Clean (59 of 100)
Word Count: 1224
Warnings: mentions of characters dying in the future
A/N: 100 Fic Archive || Sequel to Turn, Shift, Smile, Repeat (a sequel to Flinch) both by
stevenghost♥Henry never expected to hear from any of them again after receiving that last letter from Heechul. You destroyed him, and I hate you for it. While he never believed it, the words played over and over in his mind, guilt at his inability to express the most important thing with his one true love flooding his mind anytime his mind wasn’t simply weeping from the loss. He had long since lost the ability to produce actual tears, having used up a lifetime’s worth in the first few months after his return home, to his mother’s comforting, sheltering embrace. He was like a kid, not wanting to face his nightmares, his demons, his family humoring him by showering him in love.
Thus, he was surprised when he received a phone call many years later, the weary yet sarcastic voice on the other end saying, “I still fucking hate you, but… Shindong’s dying. Even though it’s all your fault, he wants to see you before he goes, so you better come you asshole, or I’ll drag your ass over here in a body bag!” The resentment was still obvious, and Henry once more thought of that fateful night, wondering why, how, could Heechul hate him when he had won. Heechul had Shindong, so shouldn’t he be happy?
Henry laughed, a cheerless sound, hollow, resonating with years of jaded solitude. “Why would he want to see me when he has you?”
“You don’t get it, do you? Did you come that night, or did you just not fucking care?” Heechul’s many years of frustration colored his voice an angry hue. “Just get your ass over here by tomorrow night, or I swear… I fucking swear Henli-ah!”
Henry sighed a “fine” into the phone, having no real intention of going because his heart wouldn’t be able to handle the close proximity without breaking into five million irreparable pieces; it was hard enough with two continents, an ocean, and many years between them to keep his soul intact. He wouldn’t survive if they met face to face again.
---~~~---
He shouldn’t have been surprised when a knock sounded on his door a few days later, a glance through the peephole revealing a fuming Heechul, and, surprisingly, an anxious Eeteuk. It was a devious move on Heechul’s part to bring Eeteuk hyung; he must have known that there was no way that Henry would leave his hyung out in the Canadian winter night, not even if he was suddenly taken with fear at the realization that Heechul had been serious, at least in his demand.
Opening the door, he let them inside, squashing his desire to shut the door in Heechul’s face after Eeteuk was through the doorway. Then, after shutting the door behind them, he turned, a strained smile, lackluster and dull – it couldn’t even be called a ghost of his previous smiles – adorning his face and said “Eeteuk-hyung. What brings you here?”
“Shindong. Henry… Shindong, he… He…” When the elder burst into tears, Henry suddenly knew that Heechul had been telling the truth.
“He’s really? Really? Is there any hope?”
“No.”
“He wants to see you Henry. It’s your last chance. I know you can do it.” It was odd, Henry found, to be comforted and encourage by a weeping man, but somehow it was so Eeteuk that it was okay.
So Henry left with them in the morning, not knowing what he would say, or how he would survive this, but then again, if Shindong was dying, what did he really have to lose?
---~~~---
Then Henry’s heart broke, the sight of Shindong’s wasting-away, near corpse-like body making physically hurt for the older man.
A raspy fraction of the former boisterous voice spoke. “Henry… you came.” It seemed to take all his energy to just say those few words as his head fell back on his pillow and he closed his eyes.
But there was a slight upturn to the crease of his lips, as if Henry’s mere presence was enough to make his pain bearable.
---~~~---
Later, when Shindong woke up once more, Henry was there, the same heartbroken expression plastered, seemingly permanent, over his face, and Shindong actually smiled – the smallest of grins, but a positive action nonetheless - tilting his head slightly to get a better look at his love.
“H-Hi…” Henry had lost none of his awkwardness, although it might have been the years apart and Shindong’s current state that were the root of the problem this time – he certainly was no longer that same level of innocent.
“Hi” Shindong’s grin grew a little. “You came. You finally came.” When Henry didn’t respond, and simply continued to stare at his sunken features, his body that was no more than half the size that it was when Henry knew him, Shindong’s smile faltered a little as the insecurity of many years came rushing back to the forefront of his mind. Perhaps Henry didn’t want him anymore, now that he was just skin and bones, immovable, pale limbs, and straggly, rapidly disappearing hair. “Henry? Um… Is… um. Is everything alright?”
“You… You’re…” Henry fell to his knees beside the bed, a seemingly crumpled heap as he began to truly weep for the first time in years – real tears, not dry heaving fits – and felt comforted slight when a bony hand rested itself on the top of his head. “You’re dying, and… And… And.”
A nurse suddenly bustled into the room. “Shindong-sshi. It is time for your bath.”
Henry looked up, a startled expression flitting over his tear-stained features, and somehow, pushing through the shock at the intrusion, he mustered enough courage to ask, “Can I help him? Just this once? Please” He pled with both his voice and his eyes.
The petite nurse smiled brightly. “Of course. His other friend – what is that skinny guy’s name? Heenim? Heechul? Well, Hee-something! – helps him all the time. Henry felt something prick his heart at that statement, like they were back at square one.
That sensation was pushed from his mind though when the words “I pretend that he’s you, and always have” softly spoken, reached his ears. Henry smiled, and helping the nurse help Shindong into the bathroom, the bath already prepared, complete with bubbles, and vowed to be around to help Shindong for as long as he remained on the earth with him.
“I love you Shindong. I want you to know that.”
“I love you too. Now, can you help me scrub my back please?” Shindong blushed, and leaned forward a bit to help the younger out, smiling at the feel of the younger’s hands finally touching him without hesitation.
Henry was all smiles by the end of bath time; regaining the simple, undemanding intimacy between himself and Shindong made his heart thaw, warm, and beat with the fullness of life for the first time in years.
“Don’t go anywhere Henry, not even if I get ugly and unbearable.”
“I promise I won’t” He gripped Shindong hand, having missed the feeling so much. “Not even if you start looking like death warmed over. I’ll be here until the moment you die. That’s a promise.”
“Thank you. I love you.”
Henry giggled, pleased, and leaned down to kiss the elder lightly, softly, on a withered, tissue paper cheek.
“I love you too.”
Thus, he was surprised when he received a phone call many years later, the weary yet sarcastic voice on the other end saying, “I still fucking hate you, but… Shindong’s dying. Even though it’s all your fault, he wants to see you before he goes, so you better come you asshole, or I’ll drag your ass over here in a body bag!” The resentment was still obvious, and Henry once more thought of that fateful night, wondering why, how, could Heechul hate him when he had won. Heechul had Shindong, so shouldn’t he be happy?
Henry laughed, a cheerless sound, hollow, resonating with years of jaded solitude. “Why would he want to see me when he has you?”
“You don’t get it, do you? Did you come that night, or did you just not fucking care?” Heechul’s many years of frustration colored his voice an angry hue. “Just get your ass over here by tomorrow night, or I swear… I fucking swear Henli-ah!”
Henry sighed a “fine” into the phone, having no real intention of going because his heart wouldn’t be able to handle the close proximity without breaking into five million irreparable pieces; it was hard enough with two continents, an ocean, and many years between them to keep his soul intact. He wouldn’t survive if they met face to face again.
---~~~---
He shouldn’t have been surprised when a knock sounded on his door a few days later, a glance through the peephole revealing a fuming Heechul, and, surprisingly, an anxious Eeteuk. It was a devious move on Heechul’s part to bring Eeteuk hyung; he must have known that there was no way that Henry would leave his hyung out in the Canadian winter night, not even if he was suddenly taken with fear at the realization that Heechul had been serious, at least in his demand.
Opening the door, he let them inside, squashing his desire to shut the door in Heechul’s face after Eeteuk was through the doorway. Then, after shutting the door behind them, he turned, a strained smile, lackluster and dull – it couldn’t even be called a ghost of his previous smiles – adorning his face and said “Eeteuk-hyung. What brings you here?”
“Shindong. Henry… Shindong, he… He…” When the elder burst into tears, Henry suddenly knew that Heechul had been telling the truth.
“He’s really? Really? Is there any hope?”
“No.”
“He wants to see you Henry. It’s your last chance. I know you can do it.” It was odd, Henry found, to be comforted and encourage by a weeping man, but somehow it was so Eeteuk that it was okay.
So Henry left with them in the morning, not knowing what he would say, or how he would survive this, but then again, if Shindong was dying, what did he really have to lose?
---~~~---
Then Henry’s heart broke, the sight of Shindong’s wasting-away, near corpse-like body making physically hurt for the older man.
A raspy fraction of the former boisterous voice spoke. “Henry… you came.” It seemed to take all his energy to just say those few words as his head fell back on his pillow and he closed his eyes.
But there was a slight upturn to the crease of his lips, as if Henry’s mere presence was enough to make his pain bearable.
---~~~---
Later, when Shindong woke up once more, Henry was there, the same heartbroken expression plastered, seemingly permanent, over his face, and Shindong actually smiled – the smallest of grins, but a positive action nonetheless - tilting his head slightly to get a better look at his love.
“H-Hi…” Henry had lost none of his awkwardness, although it might have been the years apart and Shindong’s current state that were the root of the problem this time – he certainly was no longer that same level of innocent.
“Hi” Shindong’s grin grew a little. “You came. You finally came.” When Henry didn’t respond, and simply continued to stare at his sunken features, his body that was no more than half the size that it was when Henry knew him, Shindong’s smile faltered a little as the insecurity of many years came rushing back to the forefront of his mind. Perhaps Henry didn’t want him anymore, now that he was just skin and bones, immovable, pale limbs, and straggly, rapidly disappearing hair. “Henry? Um… Is… um. Is everything alright?”
“You… You’re…” Henry fell to his knees beside the bed, a seemingly crumpled heap as he began to truly weep for the first time in years – real tears, not dry heaving fits – and felt comforted slight when a bony hand rested itself on the top of his head. “You’re dying, and… And… And.”
A nurse suddenly bustled into the room. “Shindong-sshi. It is time for your bath.”
Henry looked up, a startled expression flitting over his tear-stained features, and somehow, pushing through the shock at the intrusion, he mustered enough courage to ask, “Can I help him? Just this once? Please” He pled with both his voice and his eyes.
The petite nurse smiled brightly. “Of course. His other friend – what is that skinny guy’s name? Heenim? Heechul? Well, Hee-something! – helps him all the time. Henry felt something prick his heart at that statement, like they were back at square one.
That sensation was pushed from his mind though when the words “I pretend that he’s you, and always have” softly spoken, reached his ears. Henry smiled, and helping the nurse help Shindong into the bathroom, the bath already prepared, complete with bubbles, and vowed to be around to help Shindong for as long as he remained on the earth with him.
“I love you Shindong. I want you to know that.”
“I love you too. Now, can you help me scrub my back please?” Shindong blushed, and leaned forward a bit to help the younger out, smiling at the feel of the younger’s hands finally touching him without hesitation.
Henry was all smiles by the end of bath time; regaining the simple, undemanding intimacy between himself and Shindong made his heart thaw, warm, and beat with the fullness of life for the first time in years.
“Don’t go anywhere Henry, not even if I get ugly and unbearable.”
“I promise I won’t” He gripped Shindong hand, having missed the feeling so much. “Not even if you start looking like death warmed over. I’ll be here until the moment you die. That’s a promise.”
“Thank you. I love you.”
Henry giggled, pleased, and leaned down to kiss the elder lightly, softly, on a withered, tissue paper cheek.
“I love you too.”
no subject
Date: 2008-07-03 07:39 am (UTC)If I ever do decide to write a sequel for that story line, it will honestly probably end in OT3, but I loved the way you incorporated Heechul into this because it shows that, in the end, he just wants Shindong to be happy, even if it means being unhappy himself. I always love unselfish actsl ike that.
And I love how Henry is still the same insecure boy and Shindong still loves him and they are both just so awkward and cute. ♥♥
no subject
Date: 2008-07-03 07:43 am (UTC)I love unselfish acts too... although i'm not sure that i would ever be able to do something like that for someone... *is selfish bitch* ^.~ lol
i would love to read an OT3 if you do decide to write a sequel ^^ ♥♥
no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 10:02 pm (UTC)